Mary

MARY

Every once in a while in this life, you run across someone who will, just by their presence completely change your life. They may be in your life for only a short time, or may spend years and years in your heart. But either way, they touch you in ways that make a permanent difference in your thinking and your living. Back in 1982-83, I met just such a person.

I want you to meet Mary.

High school was not easy for me. I was not a good student, and was not by any stretch of the imagination among the “popular crowd”. My home life was a mess and I fought a daily battle with depression- which would go largely unrecognized and un-acknowledged by my school. In my effort to find a place in the school and get through the monotony of those long days, I found myself volunteering for a program in the school, which was an extension of Wildwood School. It was a program where they brought in mentally retarded students and integrated them, in small ways into the mainstream of public high school. Mary was one of those students.

The day I began my volunteering was terrifying. I’d never even been around mentally retarded kids before, and here I was surrounded by them. But for some reason, I fought my fear and stayed. I’m glad I did!!! Mary was one of the first students I met. She immediately ran over to say, ”hello”. She never questioned why I was there or who I was, but she was happy to see me even as a complete stranger. Her openness and honesty took me off guard a bit- but it was also one of the things I learned to love about her. Mary and I gradually became good friends. She was two years older than me, but really had the mind of a young child. I worked with her one on one for one hour a day throughout the week, for a full year. There were days where she tried my patience, but there were days where I left knowing that she’d been the teacher that day.

What did I learn from Mary that year?
I learned about unconditional love. She taught me to love first and trust later and to not even think about judging. In today’s world that is SO hard to do. More often than not, that practice gets me into trouble. But, it’s a good thing to do, and despite the bruises to my heart, I continue to practice it.
I learned about true JOY! Mary had her bad days, many of them-- her life was not easy- but she pushed the “stuff” away and saw the beauty in little things. I remember time and time again having to re-direct her to our “lessons”, when in reality perhaps the greatest lesson was in the distraction that she’d found outside the window or in the hallway or on the other side of the room. To find joy in the world around is perhaps one of the greatest attributes a person can have.
I learned about hugging!! Mary loved to hug!! She didn’t care who you were- just that you were human was enough reason to give a hug!! Lesson learned!!
I learned to be accepting of differences. Mary certainly was “different”, at least on the outside, but she taught me that we have to look past the scars of this world to a person’s heart. It is there that we find that we’re all very, very much alike. Once we learn to look past the outward “stuff” we can find love for human-kind.

After high school I lost touch with Mary. Her mom and I had tried to say in contact, but with the hectic pace of my beginning college, we gradually lost touch.

Mary died two years ago. My heart broke when I saw the obituary. I remember crying my eyes out, as I’m doing now just writing this. This world has lost a wonderful human being- and I lost a wonderful teacher and friend.

Just this past week, when looking for information about a local chapter of the International Order of St Luke (http://www.orderofstluke.org/), I came across a name that was very familiar. It was Mary’s mom! We re-connected this week, and have shared many wonderful memories of Mary. It’s amazing how God works!! Order of St Luke is all about healing-- and in the simple act of just being who she was, not putting on any masks as our world does daily- Mary, in her loving honest open innocent joyful way brought healing to me back then and still today through her memory.

God bless you, Mary!! You really are a gift from God!!