Jesus' Hands on Earth

Today was Ginny's funeral. As predicted the church was full. It was a gathering filled with love and gratitude to God for the life of this amazing woman. As Ginny had requested, it contained her favorite hymns, and included a beautiful rendition of "How Great Thou Art" played by the bell choir, of which she was part of for many years. It seemed strange not to see her standing there with a bell in her hand. As difficult as it was, it was a beautiful service.

In the homily given by Pastor David, he spoke of a conversation he had with Ginny last Sunday- just hours before God took her home. He had asked her about regrets. She admitted that she had some- things like she wished she'd been a better mom (I can't think of a better mom), she wished she'd been a better friend (I can't think of a better friend) and others.... but one she said really hit a cord with me- she said that she regretted that she would no longer be "Jesus' hands on Earth". WOW!!! It occurred to me that that should be the goal of each and every Christian!!! It's our job to spread His love, His healing, His message... to do His work- helping the poor, leading the lost, bringing Light where there is darkness, reaching out a hand of comfort to the hurting. If not us... then who?

In honor and in memory of Ginny- I commit myself- today and every day to being "Jesus' hands on Earth"

Here I am Lord!!!

An Incredible Weekend!!!

This past August, on the way home from the incredible retreat that Jeanne and I went to in Ogdensburg, God gave me a vision. This weekend, that vision became reality. He told me in no uncertain terms that I needed to bring the women of Calvary (my Latham church) together for a weekend retreat-- to worship together, pray together and rejoice in our bonds of Christian friendship. He didn't tell me what to do, or how to do it.... only to make it happen. My first thought (and I said it out loud to Jeanne) was, "Ok Lord, whatever You want".... my second thought, which I said with even more panic was, "Oh Lord... what did I just agree to??!!" Over the next few months, I began putting together a theme, (A Celebration of Christian Friendship)- and an incredible team of women to lead the weekend. Registration was full almost immediately, and excitment began to grow. The team worked hard, to put together what we believed would be a Christ centered weekend. We were all passionate about what we believed needed to be included in the weekend- and admittedly there were times when that caused some difficulty in our planning. But, somehow (with God's help) we were able to move past our differences, put aside our disagreements and come together. We (with God's mighty help) planned a weekend that not only brought eighteen women together in Christian love-- but truely glorified God in every way! He was present among us-- laughing with us, crying with us, singing with us, making a snowlady with us, playing games with us, walking with us, resting with us, baking cookies with us, eating (and eating and eating) with us, learning and growing with us. He rejoiced in our worship, in our time of Holy Communion- in our praises to Him. He bound each of us together with heart cords- HIS cords, that will never be broken....
"BIND US TOGETHER, Lord, Bind us together
With cords that cannot be broken.
Bind us together, Lord,Bind us together,
Bind us together with love.
There is only one God,
There is only one King;
There is only one Body,
That is why we sing:
BIND US TOGETHER, Lord, Bind us together
With cords that cannot be broken.
Bind us together, Lord,Bind us together,
Bind us together with love."

prayer request

I have a brief, but important prayer request... Would you all please keep Ginny in your prayers? She's an old friend from my (Latham) church and is fighting a nasty battle with cancer and kidney failure right now. She's in the hospital (St Peters) in tremendous pain. She's an incredible faith filled lady, who really doesn't deserve all she's going through. I believe that God will heal her-- even if it is in the "ultimate healing".

2/11/08 SAD UPDATE: Just got the word that Ginny died last night. As much as it hurts to loose this incredible woman, I find relief and comfort in knowing that she is no longer in pain. The last few days I've been praying for her, asking/telling God that if He couldn't heal her hurting, then to bring her Home. Please pray for her children Sue and Andy- I'm sure they're in horrible pain right now. Services are this weekend- I know the church will be packed.

Silent Retreat- Part 3

Sorry for the delay on "part 3"-- had intended on doing this yesterday, but work was actually busy for a change (though they still can't manage to keep our paychecks from bouncing!).... getting ready for a busy day today with church (Latham church) stuff.... and oh yah... Happy Birthday to Me!! (a ps before I begin... spell check is still not working in Blogger... my spelling skills need healing!)

Specific events of the retreat:

Began the retreat with communion with Father Joe (he's the other priest on Sunday)- it was an open service, but there were only five of us there. It was very nice- very intimate. It seemed like a great way to begin a process that I hoped would bring me closer to God. (Mission accomplished!) I spent the rest of the day sitting in Barry House reading, crocheting, praying and listening. At first it was a little uncomfortable, but I soon settled into the silence and grew to really enjoy it! After dinner (and I need to add that the food there was incredible- salmon for dinner, omlette for breakfast) I was in my room praying and happened to look out my window. The stars in the sky were beautiful-- God was calling me for an evening walk. He and I walked down by the pond, and up to the prayer walk by the Healing Center. I just sat on the bench, and marveled at God's amazing creation! The stars filled the skies- I don't remember ever seeing so many in my life. I just praised God for this gift of beauty!!! After my walk, I knelt by the fireplace (over which is a crucifix) and wept. I didn't know why I was weeping- but it felt ok, like a healing release. I think I needed that. I spent the rest of the evening talking- (not exactly praying) with God... just like I would a friend, He is after all! I did some writing, some reading (the Book of Common prayer has some REALLY beautiful prayers in it!) and lots of thinking. I can't say I got a ton of sleep- God kept waking me with incredible words and messages- but I wouldn't trade those messages for anything!

I started the morning (at sunrise) in the Healing Center chapel. As I've said before, this chapel is my very favorite place in the entire world!!! I just sat on the floor in front of the altar and felt God's amazing love surrounding me and filling me! It was incredible! I could stay there forever! My morning continued with that same feeling of peace and love. After I checked out of Barry House, I went back to the Healing center to await my time of communion with Father Nigel. It was more time to sit in the chapel and bathe in that incredible peace. By this time I was becoming emotional- overwhelmed with all the messages from God... understanding some.... not understanding some. When communion began, so began my tears. Without warning, they just began pouring out of me- I could not stop them, nor did I try. I knew I was safe in the presence of God and with my friends Father Nigel and Sandra, with whatever I was feeling. For you "regular" readers, you already know the story of why communion is so special to me. (Those of you who don't know the significance, you can read my post from September 30th... http://youwantmetodowhatlord.blogspot.com/2007/09/hour-i-first-believed.html ) As I shared in the Body and Blood of Christ- I again felt Him fill me with love, with peace and with His healing presence! Nothing compares to that!!! Following communion, I spoke briefly with Father Nigel and Sandra about my twenty four hours, and life in general. Their words were filled with love, healing and encouragment. Their words were from Christ. One really wonderful thing that happened, was when I'd asked them to pray for my tinnitus. (I've been suffering from this and hearing loss, since a teen when my father smacked me, quite hard, over the side of my head) I'd been trying to forgive my father for this- (it was the last thing I needed to forgive him for) and had been trying to do what Father Nigel refers to as "healing of memories", where you put Jesus in the picture asking Him to step in and heal the memory. Anyway- when Nigel layed his hand over my ear and prayed, I quickly realized that it was not his hand- but rather the hand of Christ, blocking the memory of my father's hand hurting me. It was an incredible moment!!!! The tears flowed freely from my eyes... there were hugs all around and more love than I think I'd ever felt in my life. I left my retreat, exhausted- but filled and renewed.

I spent my afternoon at home resting and catching up on some (Calvary) retreat planning. That evening, I went back up to CtK with Jeanne and Debbie for the evening Taize service. I'd never been to a Taize service before- but I'm SO glad I went. It was a beautiful service- candle light, peace-filled with incredible music. Nigel's homily was wonderful- although I could not tell you all of what it was about, because when he started to speak about forgiveness, I heard my father's voice say, "I'm sorry". (Yes, more tears!) The agony of the years of abuse was finally completely gone!! At the end of the service, I couldn't wait to share with Father Nigel about my healing.... we together thanked God and shared a warm hug. God is SO good!!!

Yes, my time away was all and more than I could have hoped for. I received healing, incredible messages from God, LOVE (more than I could have imagined)- and re-comitted my life to Christ and His calling on my life. I received a renewing of spirit, mind and body.

Thank you God!!!

And thank you kind people for your prayers and love!!!