Silent Retreat- Part 2

"Speak Lord, for your servant is listening."

This is the scripture that I spent much of my twenty four hours praying. God heard, and yes, He spoke.

To start from the beginning- I did survive- AND can't wait to do it again!! (It's my hope to do this AT LEAST every three months!) It's an experience that I would whole-heartedly reccommend to anyone. Was it easy?... Not by a long shot! There were a ton of tears, a ton of anxiety and a ton of new questions. "Why would anyone want to do it again", I hear you asking.... Why? Because the end result is a peace that passes understanding- a renewed faith, a renewed energy, a renewed love and committment to God and His calling in my life. We have to walk through the darkness to then walk in the light.

The "God planned theme" for the retreat seemed to be LIGHT and LOVE. Many of the messages God gave me had to do with light, and even my conversation with Father Nigel focused on LIGHT- to the point where he had me sit on a chair in the chapel, bathing in God's bright light and love. The LOVE that I felt, (God's love and the love of my fellow Christians) was palpable. (My fur babies show love- but in a subtle furry way and I wouldn't trade it for the world!) Every time I ran into someone I knew- from the hospitality staff, to Father Nigel- I felt the absolute love of Christ pouring from their hearts into mine. At the end of the communion, Sandra (the program coordinator for the Healing Center) told me that "so many people there care about and love me". I don't know why- but this just caused me to burst into tears of joy. I know I knew it-- but hearing it just really blessed my heart. (Thank you Sandra!)

Random thoughts/ messages:

**Things look different in the light.

**As I was sitting in the beautiful sunroom in Barry House, there was a nasty hornet that was REALLY bothering me. The very odd thing about all of this is my history there (in that same room) with hornets... back in October when I was sitting there chatting with Father Nigel about a time of reconciliation, a hornet was almost attacking me. Yesterday, while praying and re-committing my life to God- the creature was attacking me again. Now here's the strange part- this morning when I woke up and went to sit there with my tea- it was laying dead in front of the chair. When I mentioned the hornet to the housekeeper, she said it was very odd- because they do have them there-- but usually only in the WARM months. (It was anything but warm there!) Hmmmmmm!!!!!?????????

**An odd dream--- reminicent of the story of Samuel in the Bible, God spoke to me in the middle of the night. My dream was of a water color painting- done just of paint droplets, But then, God added, "You have given me what is there, give me what is not there" (HUH?). As if that wasn't confusing enough- God then said (oh so clearly), "Do it NOW". In my dream state, I ignored Him-- but He kept at it, "Do it NOW". By this time, I was waking up enough to tell God I was tired, and I'd do it in the morning... "Do it NOW". Ok, Lord- You win! So yes, I was wide awake at 3am, painting a very odd- God directed painting of various colors of paint droplets. After completing it, looking at it, and remembering what He'd said about, "...give Me what is not there",- I was even more confused. I had Father Nigel look at the painting at communion, and he managed to figure it out- explaining that it was my life, my relationships and my healing. But even he couldn't understand the message. He figured that God will reveal that to me in time.

**Trust My Light
Listen to My Hope
Remember My Love
Believe

**Fully believing He will heal me,
I listen in faith, and come out of the darkness and chaos
into His loving and peaceful Light.

**Look past the darkness. Look for the Light.

**New birth
My choice
Inner transformation
Bless me Lord
Inspire me Lord
Help me to remember that from dark comes courage
It's part of the journey
But You, Great Spirit
Give serenity through it all

Hmmmmmm!!!!

Ok, so this post is getting LONG! (Sorry!) Lot's more to tell, so this will be continued tomorrow.

Thanks for the prayers, kind people!!

PS- Spell check is not working-- spelling is not one of the gifts that God gave me... sorry for any boo boos!!