ASK??????!!!!!!???????

I went to the evening healing service in Greenwich last night, and although surrounded by people I love- I left, not only with a migraine, but with more anger and frustration.

The homily was all about asking God. "If we ask, we receive", Fr Nigel kept saying, "we have to ask first". HELLO!!!!!! I AM ASKING!!!

What he didn't address was, those times when we don't receive answers. He made it sound so simple- and maybe it is... for other people, but clearly not for me!!! Do you need to be on God's "A list" to receive answers to your prayers?? If that's the case, I'm clearly on God's "Y or Z list"...!!!! I believe that I live a Christian life-- trying hard to do what is right, helping others, attending church weekly, praying without ceasing- for myself and others, putting God first in my life... I just wish I knew what I was doing wrong-- why is God not hearing me? Is there a trick to praying that I'm not aware of?

According to Biblegateway.com the Bible has 155 references to prayer. This morning, inspite of the stabbing pain in my head (again, I ASKED God to heal my migraine, but no...) I looked briefly at all 155. Not one gave me a clue to what I'm doing wrong- they all made it sound SO darn simple!!! Honestly, kind people, I'm getting tired of ASKING!

Fr Nigel, in his homily, refered to a "quote" about asking that he'd been "taught" in boarding school.... "If you ask, you won't get, if you don't ask you won't get- so don't ask." As sad as it sounds, I actually related to that quote... Fr Nigel went on to say that in God's case all we have to do is ask... yah, sure!!!

Ok well the head is really pounding (a knife in the back of my head, best describes my pain right now) and I'm starting to see double... all normal migraine stuff. I think I'll pop some MORE tylenol, grab an icepack (great in -10 weather) and try again to ASK God to heal me of this agony. I'll report back if I receive relief. Nighty night (ah, good morning?) kind people...