Silent Retreat- Part 3

Sorry for the delay on "part 3"-- had intended on doing this yesterday, but work was actually busy for a change (though they still can't manage to keep our paychecks from bouncing!).... getting ready for a busy day today with church (Latham church) stuff.... and oh yah... Happy Birthday to Me!! (a ps before I begin... spell check is still not working in Blogger... my spelling skills need healing!)

Specific events of the retreat:

Began the retreat with communion with Father Joe (he's the other priest on Sunday)- it was an open service, but there were only five of us there. It was very nice- very intimate. It seemed like a great way to begin a process that I hoped would bring me closer to God. (Mission accomplished!) I spent the rest of the day sitting in Barry House reading, crocheting, praying and listening. At first it was a little uncomfortable, but I soon settled into the silence and grew to really enjoy it! After dinner (and I need to add that the food there was incredible- salmon for dinner, omlette for breakfast) I was in my room praying and happened to look out my window. The stars in the sky were beautiful-- God was calling me for an evening walk. He and I walked down by the pond, and up to the prayer walk by the Healing Center. I just sat on the bench, and marveled at God's amazing creation! The stars filled the skies- I don't remember ever seeing so many in my life. I just praised God for this gift of beauty!!! After my walk, I knelt by the fireplace (over which is a crucifix) and wept. I didn't know why I was weeping- but it felt ok, like a healing release. I think I needed that. I spent the rest of the evening talking- (not exactly praying) with God... just like I would a friend, He is after all! I did some writing, some reading (the Book of Common prayer has some REALLY beautiful prayers in it!) and lots of thinking. I can't say I got a ton of sleep- God kept waking me with incredible words and messages- but I wouldn't trade those messages for anything!

I started the morning (at sunrise) in the Healing Center chapel. As I've said before, this chapel is my very favorite place in the entire world!!! I just sat on the floor in front of the altar and felt God's amazing love surrounding me and filling me! It was incredible! I could stay there forever! My morning continued with that same feeling of peace and love. After I checked out of Barry House, I went back to the Healing center to await my time of communion with Father Nigel. It was more time to sit in the chapel and bathe in that incredible peace. By this time I was becoming emotional- overwhelmed with all the messages from God... understanding some.... not understanding some. When communion began, so began my tears. Without warning, they just began pouring out of me- I could not stop them, nor did I try. I knew I was safe in the presence of God and with my friends Father Nigel and Sandra, with whatever I was feeling. For you "regular" readers, you already know the story of why communion is so special to me. (Those of you who don't know the significance, you can read my post from September 30th... http://youwantmetodowhatlord.blogspot.com/2007/09/hour-i-first-believed.html ) As I shared in the Body and Blood of Christ- I again felt Him fill me with love, with peace and with His healing presence! Nothing compares to that!!! Following communion, I spoke briefly with Father Nigel and Sandra about my twenty four hours, and life in general. Their words were filled with love, healing and encouragment. Their words were from Christ. One really wonderful thing that happened, was when I'd asked them to pray for my tinnitus. (I've been suffering from this and hearing loss, since a teen when my father smacked me, quite hard, over the side of my head) I'd been trying to forgive my father for this- (it was the last thing I needed to forgive him for) and had been trying to do what Father Nigel refers to as "healing of memories", where you put Jesus in the picture asking Him to step in and heal the memory. Anyway- when Nigel layed his hand over my ear and prayed, I quickly realized that it was not his hand- but rather the hand of Christ, blocking the memory of my father's hand hurting me. It was an incredible moment!!!! The tears flowed freely from my eyes... there were hugs all around and more love than I think I'd ever felt in my life. I left my retreat, exhausted- but filled and renewed.

I spent my afternoon at home resting and catching up on some (Calvary) retreat planning. That evening, I went back up to CtK with Jeanne and Debbie for the evening Taize service. I'd never been to a Taize service before- but I'm SO glad I went. It was a beautiful service- candle light, peace-filled with incredible music. Nigel's homily was wonderful- although I could not tell you all of what it was about, because when he started to speak about forgiveness, I heard my father's voice say, "I'm sorry". (Yes, more tears!) The agony of the years of abuse was finally completely gone!! At the end of the service, I couldn't wait to share with Father Nigel about my healing.... we together thanked God and shared a warm hug. God is SO good!!!

Yes, my time away was all and more than I could have hoped for. I received healing, incredible messages from God, LOVE (more than I could have imagined)- and re-comitted my life to Christ and His calling on my life. I received a renewing of spirit, mind and body.

Thank you God!!!

And thank you kind people for your prayers and love!!!